diff --git a/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/ChatResource.tsx b/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/ChatResource.tsx
index 8e3aa063e..66ef13b30 100644
--- a/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/ChatResource.tsx
+++ b/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/ChatResource.tsx
@@ -139,9 +139,6 @@ export function ChatResource(props: ChatResourceProps) {
     return <Loading />;
   }
 
-  const modifiedContacts = { ...contacts };
-  delete  modifiedContacts[`~${window.ship}`];
-
   return (
     <Col {...bind} height="100%" overflow="hidden" position="relative">
       <ShareProfile
@@ -160,10 +157,7 @@ export function ChatResource(props: ChatResourceProps) {
         history={props.history}
         graph={graph}
         unreadCount={unreadCount}
-        contacts={
-          (!showBanner && hasLoadedAllowed) ?
-          contacts : modifiedContacts
-        }
+        showOurContact={ !showBanner && hasLoadedAllowed }
         association={props.association}
         pendingSize={Object.keys(graphTimesentMap[graphPath] || {}).length}
         group={group}
@@ -181,9 +175,6 @@ export function ChatResource(props: ChatResourceProps) {
           (!showBanner && hasLoadedAllowed) ? ourContact : null
         }
         envelopes={[]}
-        contacts={
-          (!showBanner && hasLoadedAllowed) ? contacts : modifiedContacts
-        }
         onUnmount={appendUnsent}
         placeholder="Message..."
         message={unsent[station] || ''}
diff --git a/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatMessage.tsx b/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatMessage.tsx
index 18aee5057..4812a51c9 100644
--- a/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatMessage.tsx
+++ b/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatMessage.tsx
@@ -263,6 +263,7 @@ class ChatMessage extends Component<ChatMessageProps> {
       history,
       api,
       highlighted,
+      showOurContact,
       fontSize
     } = this.props;
 
@@ -295,6 +296,7 @@ class ChatMessage extends Component<ChatMessageProps> {
       style,
       containerClass,
       isPending,
+      showOurContact,
       history,
       api,
       scrollWindow,
@@ -355,6 +357,7 @@ export const MessageAuthor = ({
   api,
   history,
   scrollWindow,
+  showOurContact,
   ...rest
 }) => {
   const osDark = useLocalState((state) => state.dark);
@@ -367,7 +370,11 @@ export const MessageAuthor = ({
     .unix(msg['time-sent'] / 1000)
     .format(DATESTAMP_FORMAT);
   const contact =
-    `~${msg.author}` in contacts ? contacts[`~${msg.author}`] : false;
+    ( ( (msg.author === window.ship && showOurContact) || 
+         msg.author !== window.ship) && 
+      `~${msg.author}` in contacts
+    ) ? contacts[`~${msg.author}`] : false;
+
   const showNickname = useShowNickname(contact);
   const { hideAvatars } = useSettingsState(selectCalmState);
   const shipName = showNickname ? contact.nickname : cite(msg.author);
diff --git a/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatWindow.tsx b/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatWindow.tsx
index 67a19a05d..644832bc2 100644
--- a/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatWindow.tsx
+++ b/pkg/interface/src/views/apps/chat/components/ChatWindow.tsx
@@ -207,7 +207,7 @@ class ChatWindow extends Component<
       api,
       association,
       group,
-      contacts,
+      showOurContact,
       graph,
       history,
       groups,
@@ -217,13 +217,14 @@ class ChatWindow extends Component<
     const messageProps = {
       association,
       group,
-      contacts,
+      showOurContact,
       unreadMarkerRef,
       history,
       api,
       groups,
       associations
     };
+
     const msg = graph.get(index)?.post;
     if (!msg) return null;
     if (!this.state.initialized) {
@@ -254,6 +255,7 @@ class ChatWindow extends Component<
       msg,
       ...messageProps
     };
+
     return (
       <ChatMessage
         key={index.toString()}
@@ -275,6 +277,7 @@ class ChatWindow extends Component<
       history,
       groups,
       associations,
+      showOurContact,
       pendingSize
     } = this.props;
 
@@ -289,6 +292,10 @@ class ChatWindow extends Component<
     };
     const unreadMsg = graph.get(this.state.unreadIndex);
 
+    // hack to force a re-render when we toggle showing contact
+    const contactsModified =
+      showOurContact ? 0 : 100;
+
     return (
       <Col height='100%' overflow='hidden' position='relative'>
         <UnreadNotice
@@ -314,7 +321,7 @@ class ChatWindow extends Component<
           onScroll={this.onScroll}
           data={graph}
           size={graph.size}
-          pendingSize={pendingSize}
+          pendingSize={pendingSize + contactsModified}
           id={association.resource}
           averageHeight={22}
           renderer={this.renderer}